Say Hi to the Puppet People!!!

This is just a short note to say to everyone who reads this blog that I would love to hear from you and have you say hello and tell me what you think. My owner has apparently met a number of people through my blog which means you are out there reading it!!!

So say hi to the puppet please.

Thank you :-)

What's in a name?

Well, it is time to write a short post. I get to see my owner in a few days, which is AMAZING. She has been working me quite hard in the meantime though, or at least she says she has been. I don't really understand the things that are changing or rather how they are changing...something about the nature of what she does that makes relating what is now to what was in the past kind of difficult... I guess I should explain the title of this post though. In the shortest, bluntest, terms, she took my name away.

I will try to be a bit more accurate than that though. I had a name. I cannot however tell you what it was. (Not that I would anyway here, but more to the point I can't now.) By the way, I am indeed using the past tense. I do not currently have a name. I have heard my old name at least twice since it was taken from me...but it seems to just sort of pass through me. I don't know whether I don't really hear it, of it just doesn't stick in my mind...but it is, essentially, gone.

So if I don't have a name what does that mean? In reality... it doesn't mean that much to me...but that is what makes it so amazing, so freeing, and such a good feeling. I know who I am. I am my owner's slave. My owner's pet. My owner's little girl. *That* is who I am, all I am, and all I need to know. Having that is better than having a name.

That is, I guess, a related change that has happened. I define myself, entirely, as my owner's property. Everything I see and do and want is experienced through that lens. I would try to explain how that has changed things but I can't really. I just know that it feels wonderful and I want it more and more and more.

I am also more scatterbrained right now. Much more creative and able to focus on things like my writing, but also very scatterbrained. I am sitting in my favorite coffee shop right now writing this but forgot where I was going twice before I got here. Thats okay though, because my owner was there to tell me where I was going. So, I may not be able to function practically right now but everything looks and feels and sounds so real and so intense to me right now. I love it....and it allowed me to finish the first draft of a story I was working on for awhile but was unable to actually get down on paper. My owner is amazing!

I will write more later, but I really needed to get these thoughts down. There is another post coming at some point about my favorite word!!!! Bye for now.

What the word "Obey" means to me.

This should be interesting. It is good to be back. Todays post is brought to you by the word "Obey," this word has become very important in my life recently. More important than it was before and possibly more important than any other single word has ever felt. Thanks to my owner I hear it constantly on the edges of my consciousness. I hear it every moment, in time with the beat of my heart. Sometimes I find myself repeating it quietly to myself. Sometimes I hear her breathing it into my ear. My owner is again becoming the center of my world, and this word, "Obey," is becoming, or has become, the thing I need most to hear.



So what does "Obey" mean?



It means that I am property. It means that I am her slave. It means that I am hers. It is almost interchangeable with the word "Mine," which she growls into my ear at least once per day... THAT word makes me shudder and go fuzzy and need her more than anything I can possibly explain... "Obey" is a close second.



Obey means that my purpose is obedience. It means that obedience is the thing which brings me pleasure and brings me joy. Obey means that above all else I belong to her. Which is what I wanted and needed more than I could ever describe here.

Back from Hell

There is no world without Verona walls
But purgatory, torture, hell itself.
Hence “banishèd” is banished from the world..."~ Romeo & Juliet; Act 3, Scene 3

Romeo speaks these famous words when he discovers he is to be banished from Verona, and from the one he loves. To reference this, is perhaps, a bit dramatic but it feels right none the less. It is true that any hell I visited was one of my own creation and that I dont feel there is much that would be productive about revisiting the whys and whats of the last year. It is suffice, I feel, to say that I am back in the arms and heart of my owner and that my mind and body is still hers, so in that sense all is as it should be. This also likely means that I will be revisiting this blog often and writing often again as well. I spent the last half an hour re-reading the story of our past and that only makes me more excited for our present and future. As a note to my owner, my love, I will say that I am happily yours and that nothing could be better. Thank you for everything. I will do better from now on at telling you how I feel, and at not running from those feelings.

With all of that said and much more let us get down to it. As the song says, "welcome back my friends to the show that never ends"

As I said above, I just spent some time re-reading my earlier blog posts and I must say that even as things change a great deal they also remain much the same. There is a pulsing reminder that I need to obey in my mind, that is new. There is the knowledge that my owner is the sole keeper of truth and that she knows what is best for me; those are not new. Perhaps what amazed me most is how true certain things still rang when I read posts from more than a year ago. These are things her and I have not revisted in the time we have spent reunited but reverberate in my mind as much now as they did then. I guess the truth doesn't really change... this also explains certain quirks in my behavior that have resurfaced in recent weeks.

Other news: I am going to visit my owner soon. It will be a long weekend, or perhaps longer. She has intentions that I will be leaving with significant changes to my mental landscape. I am of course very excited. There will likely be more to come before that visit...and certainly more to come AFTER that visit.

I am going to close this off with a basic statement of where things in my life are right now...

I am the willingly owned hypnoslave of a wonderful and loving owner. It took me a long time to reach the point that I am at now but I am (FINALLY) comfortable with who I am and what I want from life. Thanks to that realization I am getting to dive back into the deep end, and in some ways truly into the deep end for the first time. I am a slave, not because she made me one, or because I chose to be one, but because it is in my nature to give myself completely to a dominant woman...and I have found that woman. She gets me completely, and gets to have and own as much of me as she chooses. We are so much more than owner and slave of course...although to be honest I am not sure how to classify all of those things right now. But we are the best of friends, care deeply for one another, have more affection for one another than we can hold in, turn each other on in the most amazing ways, and have a love for one another that runs deeper than can be said...although we are both trying very hard to say it anyway.

All in all it is a good place to be, though it is just a stop on a long and winding road. I just feel lucky for every step of it that I get to travel with her.

It has been too long

but work has really kept me busy lately and when I haven't been working it is much more fun to spend time actually talking with my owner than writing here. Still I know that an update was necessary.
My owner has been working me over quite a bit lately... keeping me horny and granting me varying levels of release while forcing the most um...interesting thoughts into my mind.

She has been spending a lot of time hypnotizing me at night, which leads to me falling asleep on her. She has also been getting her hands on me in the morning before I head off to work...which makes sure my thoughts are filled with thoughts of her.

I am becoming more submissve and pliable every day (I know this because she tells me so...) I also know that she is starting to push on things she hasn't in the past. Taking greater control over my thoughts and feelings and just approach to life I suppose. It is an interesting ride. She isn't changing who I am or anything like that...but she is certainly forcing me to expand my horizons and binding me ever tighter to her!



Not that I am complaining!

Call-Answer: another step towards complete control of my mind :-D

My owner and I had a discussion while I was driving a couple days ago (I had a LOOOOOOONG drive, to my new, but temporary, home.) We talked about things she wants to do to me and work on. She is particularly interested in working on creating the ability for me to go into a blank state for extended periods of time, while still functioning. She also is working on creating what is called a 'Call-Anwer' trigger in my mind. That is what I am writing about today. Over the last two days she has been trancing me in an effort to start making it work... and it does at this point! (Yay!)

as a side note: I love it whenever she successfully takes control of another part of my life or my mind. It feels so nice and right. It feels like I won a prize or got a special gift. I can't explain exactly but it is the bestest moment.

Anyway so the call answer works like this: She triggers me and then gives me an order. I phase out to near complete mindlessness and perform the task. She tells me I also monotone back to her an answer (hence call-answer,) and gasp with pleasure the entire time. It does feel very nice...and whenever I come out of it I am full not just of physical pleasure but mental and emotional pleasure as well. The most important thing to me is being able to please my owner and I there is nothing better in the world to me than her having complete control and me being completely obedient...something about this feels like the ultimate form of obedience to me :-)

She pointed out to me that it seems like I go to a specific 'headspace' when this happens; and she is right, of course, I do. Its a good thing she did too, or I would have forgotten to explain that. Basically when it happens, I think it is as I give the 'answer' my mind kind of simplifies everything down to simply doing, and enjoying doing, whatever she says. I could probably have a conversation with her (although I doubt with other people) like that, but she would very much have to lead the entire conversation; I wouldn't be in a position to from new ideas myself or decide anything at all really. It is basically a hyper-focused feeling of how I usually feel about her control combined with everything else fading to complete unimportance (and if you are wondering, yes I would spend most "waking" moments that way and be quite content with my lot in life. Although I do enjoy being lucid enough to have full conversations with my owner too; so it would be tough to give up that much of my mind all the time...it is still VERY pleasant though.)

Anyway, that is the story of the call-answer, which my owner tells me she will be adjusting some. There is other new news too, but I am not sure I am ready to share it yet. But there may, or may not, be another new post coming shortly.

So if you saw a spaced out person at the mall...

it may have been me.

See I spent all day last Tuesday on the phone with my owner and anytime we spend that much time on the phone interesting things happen (usually to me! *giggle*)

So my owner kept me all worked up throughout the day (including making me cum...in my pants...twice.) Eventually I wound up walking through the mall very spaced out. We had been talking about hobble boots (the boots that have such a high heel that you are essentially in ballet shoes with heels,) and how hot they are...particularly the ones that lock. And then we talked about how hot it would be if I woke up in the middle of a room corsetted and wearing them... (when I say we talked I mean that SHE talked and I got really turned on and said "yes Maam" a LOT... I am not saying I added nothing to the conversation but when I am that spaced out I don't really have too much to say.

Eventually I wound up sitting on a bench in the mall across from 2 floor to cieling posters of girls wearing slightly fetishy dresses. I described them to my owner while she described how good it would feel to be wearing them...with my hobble boots.

It was a very interesting day filled trances, forced teasing, forced cumming...more trances, some shopping, more teasing, more trances, and lots of being out in public without being fully aware of what was going on...

Oh...public... that is something else that is new for me... and so FUCKING HOT... I never thought I would be into being that out of it in public but I totally loved it- even if I was embarassed and blushing the entire time.

Anyway, that is the story of a day of trance in public and at the mall.