Sunday, November 29, 2009

What's in a name?

Well, it is time to write a short post. I get to see my owner in a few days, which is AMAZING. She has been working me quite hard in the meantime though, or at least she says she has been. I don't really understand the things that are changing or rather how they are changing...something about the nature of what she does that makes relating what is now to what was in the past kind of difficult... I guess I should explain the title of this post though. In the shortest, bluntest, terms, she took my name away.

I will try to be a bit more accurate than that though. I had a name. I cannot however tell you what it was. (Not that I would anyway here, but more to the point I can't now.) By the way, I am indeed using the past tense. I do not currently have a name. I have heard my old name at least twice since it was taken from me...but it seems to just sort of pass through me. I don't know whether I don't really hear it, of it just doesn't stick in my mind...but it is, essentially, gone.

So if I don't have a name what does that mean? In reality... it doesn't mean that much to me...but that is what makes it so amazing, so freeing, and such a good feeling. I know who I am. I am my owner's slave. My owner's pet. My owner's little girl. *That* is who I am, all I am, and all I need to know. Having that is better than having a name.

That is, I guess, a related change that has happened. I define myself, entirely, as my owner's property. Everything I see and do and want is experienced through that lens. I would try to explain how that has changed things but I can't really. I just know that it feels wonderful and I want it more and more and more.

I am also more scatterbrained right now. Much more creative and able to focus on things like my writing, but also very scatterbrained. I am sitting in my favorite coffee shop right now writing this but forgot where I was going twice before I got here. Thats okay though, because my owner was there to tell me where I was going. So, I may not be able to function practically right now but everything looks and feels and sounds so real and so intense to me right now. I love it....and it allowed me to finish the first draft of a story I was working on for awhile but was unable to actually get down on paper. My owner is amazing!

I will write more later, but I really needed to get these thoughts down. There is another post coming at some point about my favorite word!!!! Bye for now.

1 comment:

Jo said...

So how do you live in normal life - with your name having disappeared? Sounds incredibly erotic!

... and ... what's your favorite word? Mine is 'obey'.