Monday, November 23, 2009

Back from Hell

There is no world without Verona walls
But purgatory, torture, hell itself.
Hence “banishèd” is banished from the world..."~ Romeo & Juliet; Act 3, Scene 3

Romeo speaks these famous words when he discovers he is to be banished from Verona, and from the one he loves. To reference this, is perhaps, a bit dramatic but it feels right none the less. It is true that any hell I visited was one of my own creation and that I dont feel there is much that would be productive about revisiting the whys and whats of the last year. It is suffice, I feel, to say that I am back in the arms and heart of my owner and that my mind and body is still hers, so in that sense all is as it should be. This also likely means that I will be revisiting this blog often and writing often again as well. I spent the last half an hour re-reading the story of our past and that only makes me more excited for our present and future. As a note to my owner, my love, I will say that I am happily yours and that nothing could be better. Thank you for everything. I will do better from now on at telling you how I feel, and at not running from those feelings.

With all of that said and much more let us get down to it. As the song says, "welcome back my friends to the show that never ends"

As I said above, I just spent some time re-reading my earlier blog posts and I must say that even as things change a great deal they also remain much the same. There is a pulsing reminder that I need to obey in my mind, that is new. There is the knowledge that my owner is the sole keeper of truth and that she knows what is best for me; those are not new. Perhaps what amazed me most is how true certain things still rang when I read posts from more than a year ago. These are things her and I have not revisted in the time we have spent reunited but reverberate in my mind as much now as they did then. I guess the truth doesn't really change... this also explains certain quirks in my behavior that have resurfaced in recent weeks.

Other news: I am going to visit my owner soon. It will be a long weekend, or perhaps longer. She has intentions that I will be leaving with significant changes to my mental landscape. I am of course very excited. There will likely be more to come before that visit...and certainly more to come AFTER that visit.

I am going to close this off with a basic statement of where things in my life are right now...

I am the willingly owned hypnoslave of a wonderful and loving owner. It took me a long time to reach the point that I am at now but I am (FINALLY) comfortable with who I am and what I want from life. Thanks to that realization I am getting to dive back into the deep end, and in some ways truly into the deep end for the first time. I am a slave, not because she made me one, or because I chose to be one, but because it is in my nature to give myself completely to a dominant woman...and I have found that woman. She gets me completely, and gets to have and own as much of me as she chooses. We are so much more than owner and slave of course...although to be honest I am not sure how to classify all of those things right now. But we are the best of friends, care deeply for one another, have more affection for one another than we can hold in, turn each other on in the most amazing ways, and have a love for one another that runs deeper than can be said...although we are both trying very hard to say it anyway.

All in all it is a good place to be, though it is just a stop on a long and winding road. I just feel lucky for every step of it that I get to travel with her.


Jo said...

Welcome back! i can't wait to see how this develops. i know she is a an incredible person!

Your journey is so exciting!

Remote Control Puppet said...

Hey, thanks for the comment Jo. Nice to see someone is reading :-)

Jo said...

How could i not! As i mentioned elsewhere - i met Owner through your writing.