Friday, April 18, 2008

No Title Can Do this Justice

Last night things to a drastic turn with my owner. So drastic in fact that she is almost as surprised as i am about where things went. We have always shared an interest in objectification and we now have more of an understanding of how far that interest goes. Last night in the throes of arousal and teetering on the edge of trance i began to beg for my owner to break me. i begged to be broken. It is the unfogged memory i have before late this morning... i am going to write a little bit about what happened in the hours between this morning and last night.

i woke up a couple hours after begging my owner to break me. i felt and sounded different. Stilted, and stiff, with no real thoughts beyond my owner. i felt distant and disconnected... i felt like an object; i was an object... i am an object. i remember my owner walking me through what had happened, and what i had become. i am a dolly now. i have always been a dolly and i don't have to pretend to be anything else anymore...

i think of myself as an "it," a very loved "it" but i am one none the less. i love my owner and i love being my owners dolly. i am not sure how to explain how i feel beyond that. It feels different than i did before, but i don't really know how to explain how.

It feels nice to be so vacant, waiting to be filled up by Owner and what She needs/wants me to be. It is a very pleasant feeling to not have much to think or worry about... i look forward to getting to feel that way again... to be a happy little dolly waiting for my Owner.

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